Mr. Jones! I've heard a lot about you, sir. Your appearance is exactly the way I imagined.

Chances are you took in the new Indy film in the last couple of days: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Nifty title eh?

Did you enjoy it? I most certainly did. Although the last act plays like an insubstantial encore for the Raiders of The Lost Ark players (executed in the breathless too-much-action style of Temple of Doom), the first third or so is fantastic. Set in late 50s America besieged by red scares and rock n' roll, our hero dodges Russian commandos and various Americana military test-sites - the pastel purgatory A-Bomb target, the highlight. Indy even falls foul of snooping suspicious Scrubs janitors in full G-Man sleaze scoop mode! Witch hunt! Once our hero(es) reach the jungle though, the picture changes tact - extended chase segments and puerile animal comedy are the orders of the day. Ho-hum. At least the gophers didn't get another airing. It's a real shame after the carefully cultivated zip-think of segment one.



Ah well. The sci-fry conclusion has opinions split too. In Indy 4's favour for my change is the bizarre 'alien' quality of the last gasp conclusion threat - first contact is a brain-cooking peep hole melter: we know not their ways! It's Mars Attacks! with a Mayan twist. It doesn't have the lyrical epicness of near misses with vengeful universe shapers, but it does have its fair share of incomprehensibility. Did she ascend? Was she punished? I can not tell. A greater noggin twister though is exactly why did Beowulf not just pick himself up? He had more than enough time. Was he supposed to be injured / trapped? Atoning for avaricious urges? He just lay there not bothering. Grasp the whip man! My head hurts.

I predict time will be kind to Crystal Skull. After the initial shock of science fiction intrusion into purely mythical ground has abated, I think rejection may turn to affection. Stranger things have happened. Crystal Skull's a stumbling Frankenstein's monster of a film: the first act is as a pure a beat-perfect action belter as Raider's last, Indy's head-first attacks lunges and literal roller coaster ride chase sequences are as tiring as Doom's (not-quite-there matte work seems to be being referenced in the CG work too), and the back-and-forth between Ford and LaBeouf has the cranky charm of Crusade. It's a best beats encore. I've already said that haven't I? It's not art, but it is fun. Grasping, nostalgia baiting fun. Bask in Karen Allen's gainful employment.



Spielberg and Lucas have stepped correct on their pulp archetypes - if you're going to do the 50s, it's got to be Communist invasion and Saucer Men. Chuck in a saucy bog-monster for the Director's Cut and it's a marginalised press history lesson. Crystal Skull's most nagging short-coming though is it isn't the oft-recalled OSS subterfuge adventures teased (but unseen) throughout the film. What a marvellous little strand of excellent they would have been. Every time they were mentioned my mind drifted of into nasty little war-in-progress Indy wetworks missions. Take that Red Skull!

Bank Holiday treats!

Walter Chaw's excellent Indy 4 review over at Film Freak Central has been up for a few days - there's not much more to add to what he's already written (although I did try). Read it here.

If you're still chomping at the bit for Indy content, check out The House Next Door's series retrospective. There's a manful defence of the unfairly maligned Temple of Doom that has to be read. Go do so now.

For the comments section: Favourite Indy? Raiders is rolling action perfection with old Hollywood flair, but there's a lot of love in my dark heart for Temple of Doom. It's relentlessly nasty!