THESE NINJAS ARE INTO PEPPERONI AND CHEESE

Scheduled to release around the same time as Michael Bay and Jonathan Liebesman's bomb is Turtle Power, a doc detailing the evolution of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from an instantly popular indie comic to an unkillable merchandise machine. As a kid I loved the Turtles toys for the same reason as Masters of the Universe, they were all so ugly. The first releases of the four hero turtles themselves were completely unlike the cuddly cartoon characters - jacked up veined biceps, demonic white eyes, and loads of assassination accessories.

I remember being on holiday in Spain when I was about 10 or 11 and coming across a series of Turtle figures I've never been able to dig up much information on. Presumably they were bootlegs? It was a range of gimmick figures that had Turtles characters dressed up in a variety of American period clothing. I think one of the turtles was dressed as a Native American? Maybe Don as a cowboy? The one I do remember though was Shredder's henchman Bebop in a Confederate uniform complete with musket.* Even to a British child that seemed utterly bizarre. The shop that had the figures was on the way to a restaurant my Mum and Dad liked, so I had a few opportunities to rummage through the line whilst trying to convince myself I didn't want them and was now much too old for toys.

*UPDATE! After a quick browse online I might be misremembering 1992's Private Porknose Bebop which had the teenage mutant warthog dressed up as member of the Third Reich, complete with a green plastic StG 44.