Mortal Kombat 11 - HE'S HUNTING YOU

Sylvester Stallone's Rambo as a DLC character for Mortal Kombat 11? Just think how little effort NetherRealm Studios would have to exert to make an interactive Sly appealing. License the actor's likeness and the job's pretty much done, right? It's to the studio's credit then that this interactive Vietnam war vet is, and there's really no other word for it, beautifully illustrated. The move set they've cooked up - hammering knife attacks and punji stick traps - looks very much like a mini-thesis on how David Morrell's traumatised soldier mutated from something raw and desperate into the throbbing musculature of Reagan's America. 

FATALITY

Phew! For a minute there I thought NetherRealm Studios might be tied up delivering nothing but DC superhero fighters for the foreseeable future. If this Mortal Kombat X tease is to believed, players can snatch up background elements to pound their opponents with. How's that for next-gen?

"Kung Fu this, bitch!"

Mortal Kombat gets its last DLC pugilist, Mr Fred Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street. Aside from a few familiar grunts, this Freddy's unusually taciturn. I can't quite place which iteration of Freddy this is supposed to be. Robert Englund's day-glo sequel quipper? Or Jackie Earle Haley's more recent Platinum Dunes de-think? Given the character's noseless, action-figure-left-in-the-sun appearance, probably the latter. Far be it from me to pour scorn on a purely bonkers corporate mash-up, but wouldn't it be cooler if Freddy screamed zippy New Line abuse whilst slash-handing his opponents?

Mustard & Ketchup

NetherRealm Studios make good on vague Twitter promises of free DLC kontent for Mortal Kombat. Download the Compatibility Pack that primes you for extra character shilling, and you're rewarded with Cyrax and Sektor's BMX Bandit, Mortal Kombat 3 good looks.

Mortal Konbat

Mortal Kombat demonstrating a unique aftermarket approach. Want to follow their example? Here's how in four easy steps! First, build a franchise with a unique selling point. Mortal Kombat chose colour-coded ninjas and spine removal. Your mileage may vary. Second, run said franchise into the ground. You want to really destroy it. Produce so much shrieking, broken junk that your brand seems positively radioactive. Bad tie-in movies are a good start, but to really turn the knife you'll need at least a couple of lifeless spin-off titles and perhaps even an animated TV series. The more alienated fans there are at this point, the better.

Third, wait a couple of years until everyone's forgotten just how awful your dimwitted franchise milking got, then announce a back-to-basics relaunch. Extra points for dressing it all up in a High Definition drag that recalls your earlier, more successful, installments! Fourth, when compiling this relaunch be sure to excise the most famous examples of your unique selling point. Mortal Kombat achieved this by ditching the only fatality moves anyone ever liked, and by carefully redesigning all their most popular characters so they looked completely unlike how everyone remembered them. The upshot of all this legacy tinkering? NetherRealm Studios, the current stewards of the Mortal Kombat franchise, get to put together a retro pack featuring all this junked content and sell it as DLC a month after release for a cool cool profit. Ka-ching!