Tuesday 19 August 2008

Big Brother 2008



Has anyone been watching Big Brother this year? I've caught a recap or two recently. Jesus fuck, these housemates. I find them all to be quite hateful biffs. I really do. It's not that it's well easier to write agitated hate than genuine insightful praise. Lord no.

Rex is a pin-eyed yupp-monster. He's house king at the moment which means he's centre fucking stage. Gah and ugh. Rex is monstrously aggressive, especially with ladies. Recently, he's taken to showing off to the Mope Collective: Darnel and Mo'. This mainly involves alluding to having had sex with women other than his current girlfriend. KING AMONGST MEN! His lady friend Nicole wavers between a moan faced ingrate, and a whip thin victim. Since she entered the house Rex has subjected her to a sustained tweak of head abuse. Last night saw him ladding about the house whilst she had a total mind-meltdown - Rex hiding in the prison bedroom, surrounded by the kind of girls Nicole thinks he'd love to cheat on her with; Nicole dumbstruck door haunting before popping off outside to smoke in the pissing rain. Did Rex lift a finger to comfort her? Did he fuck. What a cunt eh?

Mope Collective Darnel and Mo just set round 'rapping' about rep and pop psychoanalysing everything into ultra boring abstraction:

"Ah man, you walked over there, that means you hate everything and I won't get a girl! I AIN'T PLAYIN'!"

Fuck it off. The incessant whinging and whining from Darnel especially would be enough to put any women off men for life. "Ugh. I'm so inferior! No-one will ever love me!" etc. If it's not that, it's impromptu rap sessions - so interminably awful I have to go and listen to Illmatic immediately, lest I be completely put off all forms of hip-hoppin'.

Other that it's delusion cabals talking up clandestine conspiracy masterplans for girls who are just dead nice. "There's another side to her!" Lisa bleats about Rachel every other second of everyday. No there fucking isn't. She's just pleasant and a bit jolly hockey sticks. There's a depressing amount of media savvy too, this year has seen the emergence of a new strain of unpopular sop: "I'm just being a dick to gauge my outside popularity!" This excuse bleeding into half-arsed nobility whines about how some contestants are so selfless, they're prepared to be a cunt to everyone, just so they can lose. Walk out instead! Just go!

Mikey should learn to fucking EAT too.

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