Genesis - The Brazilian

I've spent the evening reading Steven E de Souza and Frank Darabont's unproduced Commando II script - this is the track they advise you to crank up to get a sense of John Matrix's world. Obviously the script is completely amazing and features scene after scene of Schwarzenegger saying blunt things and frowning. Zinger wise, the highlight has to be Arnold's aside after brutalising the door staff of an exclusive members only club: "I don't know why they call them bouncers. They don't bounce." Elsewhere, our hero escapes a high-tech death corridor by creating an anti-laser umbrella out of Janitorial supplies and a few rest-room mirrors. Take that technology! For his big finish, Schwarzenegger gains entry to the big bad's evil Contra compound by disguising himself as a blushing bride. Real shame it never got made.