Late, and short! I spoil you people. After some team swapsies, King Alan presents task: shift some of this tat I've got lying about. To keep you interested: one or two items are actually worth something. Sneaky, sneaky! Ben and Philip are leading, it couldn't happen to two bigger planks. Ben seems to think he's a hard boiled war-vet, because kill academy Sandhurst dropped him an offer that he didn't even take. First Blood! In his mind he's a wheezing Nam-nightmare, stitching his scarred body back together with gunpowder and grit, whilst the other candidates bleed and die. Eye of the Tiger! In reality he's a no-chin flounderer, whose cack-handed belligerence seems to have aroused King Alan's like gland. God knows how. Philip is a beanpole yawn with a taste for badgering girls he doesn't find attractive. What a gent! No matter what Lorraine says, Philip will interpret it as a gross, indecent slander. She's poison! He'll simply have to scrunch his face up and scream venom in her face just to cope with all negativity. Philip is a heavy lifter.
On task, both leaders simper and whine with negligible sense of direction. It's a pennies game, there will be no hard sell triumph here. One will simply outdo the other by the smallest possible margin, scraping through for another week. And so it is. Eventually, Philip limps to a victory, but not before Margaret speaks up. King Alan's lady muscle kills the yuk-yuk yuppie dick waggling with a Lorraine shout-out. She's a soothsayer don't you know! Maybe candidates should listen to her occasionally? Post-task celebrations focus on Philip throwing her a vague compliment; by way of response the edit comes up with a seemingly unconnected misery-guts Lorraine reaction shot. They're telling a story!
So who's back in the boardroom? Unflappable Ben has a panic, first stating an intention to drag back a fairly blameless James. After a round of withering stares, not to mention James yelping, Ben brings back church mouse Noorul, and GBH mouth Debra. Actually Debra more or less bullies him into it. She's dying for a scrap! Despite Ben having all the composure of a drowning child, King Alan ejects Noorul. Ratings innit?
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