Crank 2: "Fuck that!"

Did you catch the Crank 2: High Voltage red band (sweary, sleazy) trailer that did the rounds last week? Dreadfully sorry, had meant to link. If you're lucky, you might find a snatch of it on youtube, but vids are being pulled at an alarming rate by grumpy studio Lionsgate. Down with free publicity! So, what's Stephen King's favourite wideboy shitkicker up to in this wildly improbable sequel? Looks like Statham is in the clutches of nefarious Chinese organ harvesters, who have designs on his penis! Fucks sake! Armed with an experi-mental clockwork heart, Statham must twat about town, upstaging the previous film for gross indecency. It's a tough call, but I think he can do it!

It's heartening to see Statham back at the forefront of tasteless cheapy action narratives. My last brush with the baldy high-kicker was the neutered, flustered Transporter 3. PG-13 Statham is practically an oxymoron.

I really should get cracking on my Statham super-script: Fucka. Fucka sees Statham defending his pub from terrorists, and what-not, armed with only a sock full of snooker balls. I'll post some extracts soon!